August 16th is an unofficial national holiday – It’s Tell a Joke Day!

Posted on 08-03-2016 by
Tags: joke , entertainment , lawyer

Attorneys often find themselves at the center of jokes, and in April during National Humor Month, we asked you to share your favorite lawyer joke. Most of you who commented embrace being the ‘butt’ of so many jokes; although a few of you admitted to being insulted on occasion when the jokes go too far.  One commentator searched Amazon.com and found there are 378 books available with lawyer jokes.

One of the more common themes involved water and fish:

Q: What's the difference between a jellyfish and a lawyer?

A: One's a spineless, poisonous blob. The other is a form of sea life

Q. What do you call 1,000 lawyers, chained together at the bottom of the ocean?

A. A good start.

Another common theme involved comparing attorneys to thieves, rustlers, or crookstars, e.g., questioning our billable hours or the length of some cases.

A gang of robbers broke into a law firm. The firm’s lawyers put up a fight, but the gang escaped.

"It ain't so bad," one crook noted as they ran away. "We got $25 between us."

The leader screamed back: "Not so bad? We had $100 when we broke in!"

Not surprisingly, there are also many variations of jokes involving lawyers ending up in the firey depths of Hell, instead of the golden gates of Heaven.

A lawyer dies and goes to Heaven, where he is brought before God. "A lawyer, eh?" says God. "We've never had a lawyer in Heaven before. Argue a point of the law for my edification."

The lawyer goes into panic and says, "Oh, God, I cannot think of an argument worthy of your notice. But I'll tell you what... you argue a point of the law and I'll refute you."

And for those of you who haven’t yet watched, apparently the television series Better Call Saul is a good source for such jokes.

“Lawyers – you know, we’re like health insurance. You hope you never need it. But, man oh man, not having it ....”

Having been accused in the past by family and friends of liking to argue or even trying to start arguments, my favorite joke, which I have as a comic strip on the front of my refrigerator, is:

Arguing with an attorney is like mud-wrestling with a pig…Sooner or later you realize the pig enjoys it!

There does appear to be many lawyer jokes.  One commentator posted a joke about the number of lawyer jokes:

How many lawyer jokes are in existence? Only three… All the others are true stories.

Has anyone heard any NEW attorney jokes to kick off the holiday?

 

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