5 Strategies To Strengthen Your Sentence By Replacing The “Weak With”

Posted on 02-24-2016 by
Tags: Writing Legally , Industry Trends , Latest Headlines & Stories

The word “with” can be a helpful word. It helps give a subject a sense of possession. While it can help sentences, it can also weaken them. Here are five examples of how you can strengthen your sentences by replacing the “weak with” thanks to Daily Writing Tips.

1. Omit “with”, split the sentence into two, and add, to signal contrast, the conjunction however

Original: Requirements concerning the marital status of adopting couples are not uniform, with a stable relationship being required in most cases.”

Revised: Requirements concerning the marital status of adopting couples are not uniform. A stable relationship, however, is required in most cases.

 

2. If what follows “with” is a definition or expansion, use a colon in its place

Original: Governance by committee is the norm, with 67 percent of large companies having committees of senior business leaders that oversee and prioritize information-technology investments.

Revised: Governance by committee is the norm: 67 percent of large companies have committees of senior business leaders that oversee and prioritize information-technology investments.

 

3. As is, this sentence is clumsily breathless, but rather than simply inserting a missing comma after invasion, try a semicolon instead and delete “with”:

Original: The debate largely focused on the wisdom of the Iraq invasion with Kerry attacking Bush’s decisions and Bush accusing Kerry of shifting views.

Revision: The debate largely focused on the wisdom of the Iraq invasion; Kerry attacked Bush’s decisions, and Bush accused Kerry of shifting views.

 

4. Make the sentence a simple compound by replacing “with” with “and”, and alter the following subject and verb as necessary:

Original: Each year, more than 1 million children are poisoned in their own homes, with thousands receiving permanent or chronic injuries.

Revised: Each year, more than 1 million children are poisoned in their own homes, and thousands of them receive permanent or chronic injuries.

5. Select, in place of “with”, another conjunction that is appropriate for the context, and change the form of the subsequent verb:

Original: Most Fortune 500 companies have hundreds of incidents per year, with only a small percentage of those incidents resulting in significant financial loss.

Revised: Most Fortune 500 companies have hundreds of incidents per year, although only a small percentage of those incidents result in significant financial loss.

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