5 (+1) funny lawyer stories from “The Onion”

Posted on 01-22-2016 by
Tags: Top Stories


Comedy is playing an expanding role in our culture as a vehicle for audiences to explore, debate, and understand the important ideas of our time.

-Isaac Lee, CEO of Fusion and the chief news and digital officer of Univision, quoted in Time this week.

Comedy, as noted above, is important, especially to ideas. Why? One reason: comedy helps shape good ideas and blunt bad ideas. But of greater importance, an idea that can’t withstand comedy often proves itself draconian. In a way, Horace Walpole summed up the latter when he said:

The world is a tragedy to those who feel, but a comedy to those who think.

Of course, it might all be more simple than that, à la Charlie Chaplin, who said:

A day without laughter is a day wasted.

Proving comedy’s importance, Univision, the Spanish-language broadcast network, is becoming a minority investor in satirical news provider, The Onion.

And proving comedy’s importance to the law, The Onion, over the years, has taken a few comical shots at lawyers.

Here’s 5 legal Onion stories (+ 1 more) that’ll leave lawyers laughing (and thus, their day un-wasted):

How To Get A Medical Marijuana Card

The advice (it’s a 7 step master plan): Wink when you mention your “back pain”, then ask your doctor to recommend some “good plants to ingest.”

Lawyer Urged By Mother To Include Younger Brother In Murder Trial

This request, from a mother to her defense lawyer son, says it all:

“[I]t would mean a lot to Jeremy if you just let him sit with you at the [defense counsel’s] table and look through some evidence ….”

Ask A Guy Who Knows A Little Bit About Dealing With These Lawyer Types

A humorous disconnect between “Dear Abby” questions and a columnist whose only expertise is in dealing with “these lawyer types.”

American Bar Association Recalls 230,000 Defective Lawyers [podcast 1:01]

“A massive, nationwide recall of lawyers”? It’s the largest recall since the ’86 recall for “Mad Barrister Disease.”

Lawyer Friend Makes Strong Case For Nachos

When eaters debate hot wings vs. nachos, a probate attorney has to convince everyone, beyond a reasonable doubt, to go with nachos.

And that +1 …

Texas Jury Awards Victim $9 Million In Barbecue [podcast 0:48]

It’s the “largest meat-based settlement” in Texas history.

More legal comedy:

When 1st Amend & comedy collided: SCOTUS' historic verdict in George Carlin “7 dirty words” case

8 horrible courtroom jokes & the misery they unleashed 

10 funniest lawyer-movie scenes 

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